WHAT WEIGHT LOSS ISN'T
Weight loss is NOT an exercise in character-building.
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You are fat.
That doesn't mean you're a bad person, and it doesn't mean you lack character.
Everyone has weaknesses, and food happens to be ours.
When you embark on a weight-loss program, your goal is NOT to strengthen your character, but to improve the odds that you'll live to a ripe old age. (And if that isn't your goal, it should be.)
The best way to do that is to get the fat off forever.
Find some other way to build your character.
Focus on losing the weight and keeping it off, and do whatever it takes to achieve that (without starvation, pills, shots, or other stupid stuff).
Making drastic improvements to the person you are is a swell goal, but it takes a lot of time and effort. And because we're human, there's bound to be some backsliding. For "eating-disordered" folks like us, "backsliding" can mean gaining 50 or 100 pounds practically overnight.
You can't afford it.
Fat is unhealthy.
Fat can be deadly. Especially the fat that comes and goes and comes back double because you're so caught up in "fighting the good fight" that you haven't noticed you're losing the war.
You have nothing to prove. Just get the fat off.
Weight loss is NOT going hungry.
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Hunger is NOT noble.
Hunger is stupid.
It wreaks havoc on your metabolism and makes you more apt to stuff yourself the first chance you get.
Whenever I "dieted" before FORMERLY FAT™, that gnawing hunger was always there. But I didn't mind. It was part of "the weight-loss experience." I was a better person because of it.
It said, "You're doin' good," and I was proud.
Then I'd hit the dreaded "Plateau" and it was all over.
These days, hunger never gets to "gnawing." Hunger is very impatient.
It screams, "EAT!"
And I do.
Weight loss is NOT deprivation.
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There is no question that deprivation and self-discipline build character.... but remember what we decided? You're going to find some other way to build your character.
Your goal is to get rid of the fat.
Forever.
And that makes deprivation stupid.
Sooner or later, deprivation cuts off the oxygen to your brain, and you find yourself in the clutches of "The Feeding Frenzy" ....
You know....
the one where you inhale four pieces of whole grain bread with a tablespoon of low-fat margarine and two broiled skinless chicken breasts (and a carrot) and a giant baked potato with fat-free sour cream and fresh chives and a two jars of imitation bacon bits (and a carrot) and two cartons of fat-free cottage cheese with three boxes of sugar-free Jello swallowed right out of the bowl in its liquid form (and a carrot) and seven fat-free rice cakes (and a carrot) and a cup of Grapenuts in skim milk (and a carrot) and two fresh apples sprinkled with cinnamon and a quart of fat-free frozen yogurt (and a carrot), and you wash it all down with 11 diet sodas.
Then you eat the bag of Cheetos anyway.
Sooner or later, deprivation is guaranteed to blow your "lifetime commitment" right out of the water.
So what's your point?
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My point is that it's time to give yourself a break.
Each week I listen to my weight-loss buddies detailing their never-ending struggle to "eat right." They believe "doing the right thing" and "losing weight" are synonymous. One can't exist without the other.
These are people who have worked incredibly hard and put up one hell of a fight. Most of them have stuck with it for years, which is more than I've ever done. I admire every one of them. This is the kind of thing that builds enormous strength of character....
but it doesn't get the fat off.
So when Experience stepped in and told me I'd be Fat or Fatter by the same time next year if I went the traditional route, I was ready to listen.
I made the choice NOT to work on my character, but on my weight.... and I gave myself the breaks I needed to ensure my own success.
So that makes me a wimp.
And I wouldn't have it any other way.
Because I've taken the pressure off and created a system that fits me like a glove, I know I can stick with it for the rest of my life and come back to it when I stray.
Of course it isn't ideal.
A "Totally Healthy Lifestyle" is ideal.
It would take a special kind of idiot to tell Oprah to start eating Big Macs and quit running marathons.
But most of us haven't been able to achieve "The Ideal," and if we want to get rid of the fat forever, we don't have forever to keep trying.
And that's why I don't believe it's wrong, selfish, immoral
OR WEAK....
to focus on this solitary goal as if your life depends on it.
Because it does.
And of course there are the fringe benefits....
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When you lose weight for the very last time, your health improves dramatically, whether you do it the Health Nut way or the FORMERLY FAT™ way.
AMAZING THINGS HAPPEN!
One day you get out of bed and realize the birds are awake and so are you!
You don't creak or ache or crunch like you used to. And you can sit through an entire movie without having your hiney go numb! (You don't have to summon the fire department to bring the Jaws of Life either.... but I didn't mention that because our priority here is health, not beauty.)
And you notice yourself doing the STRANGEST things....
like bobbing up and down as you rewind the vacuum cord instead of leaving it in a heap for your husband.... and bending over to wipe up the spill on the floor instead of pushing the paper towel around with your toe.... and trotting out to get the mail instead of hoping somebody else notices the box is still full when they get home.... and bending over to pick up your stapler without getting down on all-fours.... and (gasp!) RUNNING with your kids instead of sitting on the floor putting the same puzzle together three million times.
And there's this incredible sense of CONTROL!
For the first time ever, I am in complete control of my weight. As I write this, I'm just coming back from a few months of gaining, losing, and gaining some more.... but I know how to put on the brakes, I know how to get the weight off, and I am in no danger of going back to "obese."
In all my years of struggling and feeling guilty, I never experienced anything close....
I guess because I always knew, deep down, that eventually the weight would come back.
Now I ask you....
even if you do it without all the traditional sacrifices, how can what amounts to a brand new life not be character-building?
It really is okay to cut yourself some slack.
And it really is okay to do it the easy way and ignore everybody who looks at your plate and rolls their eyes and whines, "I thought you said you were on a diiie-yet."
After a while, you'll get really good at crooning, "I didn't say I was on a diet... I said I was LOSING WEIGHT."
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